The Mysterious Visitor (Adina)

[Erik Lenoir]

Much as Erik loathed taking off his mask, in a sense it was a test of true friendship in those around him. He had discovered those who could overlook his ugliness were undoubtedly his true friends. He had found it much better to find the correct time to do it himself was much less traumatic than having someone rip it off his face. Christine had done that and it was immensely horrific. Carlotta had also done it right here, in this very room. That was also horrific, especially when she kept saying that it made her want to vomit. Christine had, of course come to terms with it and had kissed him on his mishapen lips, something he couldn't have anticipated. Emiie too, was not put off by his face. He hoped that Teressa would not be put off by it either, whenevr the time came when he was allowed to court her. Of course, it seemed Teressa had a secret of her own when it came to her face...

Adina did not demand that Erik remove his mask. No, not at all. He started with a small bit about his past. "Adina, I wish to show you my face so that there are no secrets between us. My face has always been my plague, the bain of my life. People have shunned me for it. It is the reason I was a recluse for much of my life. I used to think the world was against me because of it. However, after coming here, I have changed my mind a bit. For although much of the world disparages me, there are a few who do not. A few who accept me for who I am." At the first sight of Erik's naked face, most people were shocked, others frightened and still others nauseated, like Carlotta. But he had prepared her. He was expecting a first reaction of at least surprise.

Erik began untying the ribbon which held the mask to his face. He took it off slowly, watching Adina's expression. The whole of his mishapen lips and the scars on his right cheek made him look skeletal. He had no eyebrow on the right side and the flesh around his right eye was reddened. Then he pulled away the hair piece held by the spirit gum to his head.Underneath was the long, fine and sparce strands of white hair that still clung to his head. Finally he removed his false nose. "You see, I'm not a pretty sight," Erik said, still watching her. He felt that if she could go through such horrors as the plague, she would not be fearful of his face.

[Adina Gillespie]

Adina braced herself, unsure if she would be strong and dare not flinch at the sight of Erik's face. She clenched her fists against her dress and the material wrinkled between her fingers as it crept up her legs just a bit. Her eyes looked up at Erik as he looked a bit tense. She wondered what he was thinking. Was he upset at her for being curious? Or was he afraid? Her heart trembled in her chest as she looked away a moment then back up at him.

…… She sat there, no real expression on her face save for the slight parting of her lips and the tears welling in her eyes. Yes, it was true that she had seen the poor with the bubonic plague infected in their skin and it had frightened her terribly. Even the dreaded plague doctors had frightened her when she saw them walking down the street wearing their grotesque bird-shaped masks… But when she saw Erik's face, she did not feel fear; she felt pity, sympathy for him. She sat closer and reached out a hand to gently touch his face but drew back, fearful he would not want her to. Her fingers curled into a gentle fist then relaxed before reaching out again to caress his scarred cheek. "Does it hurt?" She asked, trying to be very gentle so as not to cause him pain should he feel any.

Her hand drew back and lightly touched her shawl. "Since you have shown me your scars… I would like to show you my own. Though, perhaps, mine are more emotional than physical." She felt that since he had made himself vulnerable to her that she had to reciprocate and do the same. She shivered and turned a little so her back was to him, slowly letting the shawl slide off her shoulders. The back of her dress came together in a low 'V' at the middle of her spine, allowing a bit of skin to show. There were faded, pink marks on her back that criss-crossed haphazardly. "My father gave me these… My mother had died giving birth to me and he had been injured at work. Father worked in a steel mill and his leg was crushed in an accident shortly before mother went into labor with me…" She paused and wiped away a tear. "Every night, after my fourth birthday, he thought I was old enough to be taught Scripture… But it was not what I had expected. F-Father would make me kneel beside my bed and read passage from Psalms while he whipped me with a switch he had made me cut earlier that day. He f-forced me to k-k-keep reading as he b-beat me. Th-This went on f-f-for over a year. He died of the pneumonic p-plague and I w-was taken away to work in the manor." She stopped, no longer able to go on.

[Erik Lenoir]

Erik kept his mismatched eyes on Adina during the process of baring his face. He wanted to see her reaction. He wouldn't have done it if he had not felt that she could handle it and if she had not been one of the people at the mansion for which he felt something. Erik saw no horror, just the slightest bit of surprise on her countenance. Perhaps pity? He didn't want that. He only wanted truth between them. She reached out to touch his face and then pulled her hand back. She reached out again and this time touched it gently. "No, there's no pain. I was born this way. It feels the same as the other side of my face. My mother, however, was frightened of me and horrified to touch me. She never once kissed me or embraced me as a child," Erik said bitterly. "All because of my ugly face."

Then Adina showed her own scars. They were on her back, where her father had whipped her as a very young child. She told her sad story and Erik touched her shoulder. She was facing away from him. "I am so sorry to hear what you had to go through. My childhood was similar, athough perhaps, not as bad. Mother had an affair while still married. My father was unknown to me until recently. Her husband died before I was born. She felt that I was the physical manifestation of her sin. Whenever she looked at me, I reminded her of that sin. So he punished me for it. " Erik said the previous with rather no emotion. "I have come to terms with it and with my mother, I believe. But I wish things had been different." He was not angry as he had been before, simply because of a starnge encounter he had earlier in the year. It had changed him, and he had no idea how deeply.

Erik touched her shoulder again, wishing he could do something to erase Adina's past. "I have learned we must look forward, not back. However, there are some who refuse to see me as other than an evil personage just becuase of my face. So it's hard sometimes to disregard that and forget the past."

Erik couldn't help himself. He felt such a connection to Adina because of their pasts, different but similar. He touched her again on the shoulder, this time turning her toward him, and gently ambraced her.

[Adina Gillespie]

Adina gazed deeply into Erik's eyes as her fingers gently touched his face. She finally came back to her senses and let her hand softly drop to her lap. "I am glad, Erik," She said softly, her eyes still locked on his. "It would cause me great pain if I even accidentally hurt you." He then told her about how his mother virtually rejected him. All because of his face? How can a person be so cruel? She felt her heart sink. "No mother should ever do that to their own child. I am sorry she could not see what a beautiful person you are. Here." She reached out and placed the palm of her hand upon his chest. "In your heart. Your soul, your music."

When she showed Erik her own scars, she was a bit afraid. Then he touched her shoulder, causing her to flinch slightly and a shudder to run up her spine. But just as quickly as the shudder came, it left and Adina relaxed her shoulders. She swallowed hard and wiped her eyes again as more tears threatened to run down her face. She turned and looked at Erik as he continued to speak about his life. And once more, her heart sank for him. She tried not to show pity and only turned to lightly touch his hand. "I wish I had such strength, Erik. I have tried for so long to forget about my father, but it is too painful. I do not mean the scars on my back, but the ones on my heart. It is because of him that I have always been so wary of men. But not so with you. You are the very first man with whom I feel l-…" Good thing she caught that near slip of the tongue. "L-Lucky to have met."

She looked up at Erik in shock. Why would people think him evil? What a cruel and wicked thing to think, indeed! But then she reflected upon his words: …look forward, not back. He was right and now she was realizing this. She had to move forward if she ever wanted to get over her past. She felt as if her father still had a hold upon her and she wanted to be free of him. She wanted to be free from the pain and the past. "But how do I move forward, Erik?" She asked, turning away once more. "How do I let go of the pain, of everything father put me through?"

This time, Adina did not flinch when Erik embraced her. She closed her eyes and rested her head against his shoulder. She inhaled deeply, his musky scent relaxing her even more and causing her to smile gently. She enjoyed being around Lenoir. He was kind, gentle, and he did not harm her whatsoever. She felt safe around him, something that she never thought possible. Safe around another man.

[Erik Lenoir]

Erik looked into Adina's eyes as she looked into his. He didn't feel that his face as naked anymore...Adina was not shocked at his looks and she accepted him. It was a good feeling. When Erik touched Adina's shoulder with his very cold hand, she flnched a bit, a usual happening when Erik touched someone. "I am sorry my hands are so cold. It's their usual state..." Then Adina gave her reaction to his words about his Mother. "I have, of late, come to terms with Mother. It has changed me, as many things at the mansion have changed me."

Adina touched his chest and told him he was a beautiful person in his heart...his music. Erik smiled and said, "There is much you don't know about me. The changes I have experienced have been many and they have happened quickly." Erik looked down, blinking his eyes, almost embarrassed. "I have done much evil in my life. I am beginning to see that. I did not even really recognize it as evil back then." Erik often did deeds on impulse. That kind of thing could end in disaster. Other times he had planned evil things and carried them out. He didn't plan to do that any more, but the impulsive things, the things done in anger, it would be difficult to keep that under control. He didn't want to tell Adina that he had killed people in the past, and not out of self defense either. More for his own convenience. That was rather despicable. It put him in the same class as Destler, whom he despised for his evil deeds. Perhaps Lenoir was no better... But then again, there could be a new beginning for him, he hoped, unless the past came back to haunt him...as well it could.

Erik felt that Adina must have suffered much physically and mentally from her treatment by her father. "How terrible that is, to have ones' parents treat one like that..." Erik said almost in a whisper, meaning Adina as well as himself. "I have scars on my back as well...not from my mother, but later, after I left home." It was too painful. Erik felt at this moment that his heart was heavy with sorrow in his chest, not only from the memories that Adina had stirred up, but also from hearing her sorrowful story.

"Adina, as I said, we must look forward. If I focused on the past, I should stay in it. Only by looking ahead can we change." His voice was soft and barely above a whisper.

Then Adina said something that made Erik think that perhaps he was doing something to her of which he was unaware...he thought she was going to say that she loved him. He frowned, feeling suddenly very sad that she had misunderstood his actions. Perhaps he had come on too strong and confided in her too much. He inhaled sharply. What could be do now? He loved Adina as a friend, but Teressa was the one he was determined to court. What could he do now, so that he would not injure Adina's feelings?

He embraced her, thinking those thoughts. She felt so good to touch and embrace. It was so difficult. He supposed Teressa would not care for him having a friend that he liked to embrace a lot...

[Adina Gillespie]

"N-Non, monsieur," Adina said, looking back at Erik when he touched her shoulder. "It's not that… I have never allowed another man to touch me, nor even get this close to me back when I first worked in the manor." She turned and paused as Erik spoke about the 'evil' he had done in the past. She stopped him by a gentle touch of the hand. She could sense that her words had moved Erik in a way that troubled him. She lowered her eyes and exhaled deeply. "I am sorry if I upset you in anyway, monsieur. That was not my intention."

Then she paused before inhaling deeply to speak once more. "Ever since I was sent away to work in the manor, I have always been cautious around the other men; I had to be. After everything that father did, I did not want that to happen again. I had to build up myself and become stronger, though-." She paused and shivered. "Perhaps it was not the wisest of thoughts… I became rather strict with the men and that, I believe, became my downfall and what brought about my death. I remember it so clearly. I was in the kitchen overseeing the head chef and came to realize that the dish he was making was not what the master of the manor had requested. I, of course, was too forward and said that if such a thing happened again, that I would see to it that he never worked in this kitchen again…"

"That was when it happened," She continued, shivering as she placed one hand to her throat. "He followed me to the basement washroom where I had just gone to clean. He grabbed me and forced my head under the water, all the while screaming that he would not lose his job by my hands." She began to shake and it felt hard to breathe for a moment. "I could not scream for help, no matter how much I tried to cry out. The soap stung my eyes as the water filled my lungs… It hurt so much. It stung at my throat and I thought my chest would surely burst! My stomach began to churn and I felt terribly sick but I could not vomit. All I could see were shades of red, light and dark, light and dark. And then I saw his face, grinning down at me as he held me under the swirling, dark water. My limbs felt so heavy as I began to succumb to death's embrace… It felt as if only moments had past before I woke up. I thought I was alive but could feel nothing; not the cold of the water, nor the soap that had burned at my eyes…. I felt nothing." She stopped a moment and wiped her tears away. "I was dead… I still do not know what he did with my body. Perhaps, if I went back to the basement, I would finally feel closure and perhaps even move on a little."

"You are warm," She whispered softly, tears dotting her eyelashes. "Like papa….. Papa." She felt something lift in her heart when she said that, as if coming to a realization. It was love she was feeling for Erik, but not the way a romantic lover would feel. No. She looked up to Erik as if he were the father she never had. He was so kind, so gentle. She felt safe around him, the way she should around a father, a real father.

Only now when she was in his arms did Adina recognize that very feeling. "I will sew the curtains," She said, pulling back for fear that her tears may stain his clothes. "I will be good and sew them for you, monsieur; when the material comes in. Oh, merci. Merci, M. Lenoir."

[Erik Lenoir]

"Of course, of course, my dear. I know you did not wish to upset me...it's perfectly all right, Adina. Sometimes my memories .... haunt me. " Erik's voice was gentle and quiet.

Then Adina told Erik the manner and circumstances of her death. After dealing with her father, it was understandable how she would feel around men. "I'm so sorry, my dear. I truly am. But you are back. With the living. I am happy that you have come back and that I was here to find you. What a strange and fortutious circumstance it is that you found yourself in my home. I do hope that you will be able to stay alive to live out your normal lifespan." Erik wondered now why she allowed him to touch her. "I hope you understand that I do not mean anything untoward when I touch or embrace you. I feel a great friendship for you; I feel that I wish to keep you from harm, to protect you. I hope you know that you can come to me for help any time I am near..."

"You must have suffered greatly..." said Erik with a lot of feeling in his voice. The people who had suffered, Erik felt much empathy for them, considering his own past life.

Adina mentioned going back to the basement to find some closure in her life. "Would it be helpful for you to go back to the basement? Would it not be cruel to have to undergo the memories of what happened to you? However if you feel it would be something that would be good for you, I would be glad to accompany you...if you are sure."

Adina then looked up at Erik with a different light in her eyes. She looked as if she found safety in his presence. Erik knew he valued her frienship and he ways which he knew were from a past much further back than his own. The present would be even more fearful to her. Perhaps he could show her some of the innovations of the Victorian age before she even saw some of the strange 21st century inventions. She was weeping softly, her emotions must be tangled. Erik pulled out his large handkerchief and touched her eyes with it, gently wiping away the tears. Then he offered it to her. She said, Like Papa...like Papa... Erik frowned. He hoped she wasn't seeing him in a way that reminded him of her cruel parent... But he didn't think so. All of Adina's body language spoke otherwise. She seemingly felt something for Erik, but what was it, friendship, romantic love...what?

Then she said again that she would sew the curtains. And again she called him Monsieur Lenoir. "I said you may call me Erik, my dear...unless it upsets you..." He held her gently. She seemed so afraid....

[Adina Gillespie]

Adina nodded her head solemnly. "I wish there were a way that we could be rid of these dreaded memories. Though perhaps it is not a plague by which these memories haunt us, but merely to show us that we have a much better life to look forward to? For the both of us? We may have suffered, but now we are free of the cruelty we have endured and can move on."

She paused, obviously reflecting upon Erik's words when he questioned if she should really go back to the basement to gain her closure. "I suppose you are right… I may very well just be torturing myself should I go back and relive those final moments of my life once more. Perchance there is another way in which I may come to term with my own death?"

"Oui," She smiled happily and nodded again. "I, too, am very pleased to have met you, monsieur. And, non, I do not mind if you touch me…. When I said 'Like papa', I was recalling the times- though rare and few they were- when papa was nearly dead drunk and he would seem asleep… I would come up to him and embrace him the way you embrace me. He would mumble for me to come to him or he would whip me… He was in such a deep stupor that he did not even know I was there." She paused and looked up at Erik again. "That was what I meant when I said that. I did not mean to say that you were anything like my pa-… My father. I feel that same warmth from you as when I held father in those rare moments. Those are the only memories of him that I will ever hold close to my heart." With that, she lightly touched her breast, her hand right over her heart… She could feel it beating. "It's so strange… Feeling alive again, feeling my own heartbeat within my chest." And yet, she dared not tell Erik that whenever he held her, she felt her heartbeat quicken just slightly.

"Oh dear! Forgive me." She blushed and gave a small giggle. "It seems I am cursed to always be rather formal towards anyone I meet since my days of working here. I will try to remember to call you 'Erik' and… I am glad you call me by my name. It is rather nice to hear my name without having to feel fear anymore."

[Erik Lenoir]

"Your formality is obviously the product of your upbringing, Adina. And it is not a bad thing. It is just that I wish you to feel comfortable with me and first names are one way that starts to be accomplished." He smiled again. "Unless you have met many of the people from this strange modern age, you would be shocked at the lack of formality or even some of the seeming rudeness that they show. I expect it is only their culture, but I don't like that very much."

"As to the memories, I have no idea how to get rid of them. They say time heals all. Perhaps so. I don't know. Sometimes they come back and they seem as fresh and firightening as when we first experienced them." Then he thought about what Adina had said. "Yes, I think that we can move ahead of our bad memories. You are correct."

"I would be happy to accompany you down below.... perhaps it will be better to go of your own volition, rather than find yourself there suddenly some day with no preparation..." Erik said this, reversing what he had said previously. "But only if you are well prepared." Her stories of her father and then the horrible death incident were frightening enough...would she want to revisit it again?"

[Adina Gillespie]

Adina blushed and lowered her head. "Perhaps you are right, monsieur. I am sorry for always being so formal. I hope that over time I will be able to accept calling you by 'Erik'… I look forward to meeting the people of this century and time. It is all so strange and rather exciting to see the items as well as the people… When I was in the kitchen during my time as a ghost, I saw something that looked like a metal box with two slots in it. And it had a rope at one end! A very curious thing indeed; I do not know what it does. Do you know, Erik?"

She nodded and looked at the ground. "Oui, Erik. I do hope that I can move past my memories and live my life… Thank-you, Erik. Thank-you for everything. I am so glad that I met you and that you have been a most kind presence in my new life." She hugged Erik again and smiled, enjoying being around him and in his company.

She paused and listened carefully to Erik when he persuaded her to reconsider her proposal. "You are right…" She finally said after a long, thoughtful pause. "It may not be the right time and it may never be. Thank-you for being so kind and thoughtful. I am so sorry. I am so sorry for being so afraid. I hope that I can learn to be less afraid and be stronger."

[Erik Lenoir]

"Fear of the unknown is always with us. But if you learn more about that which you fear, it will become less frightening to you. Does that make sense?"

Erik wanted to make sure Adina was safe. "If you ever need me, please come to my home and shout across the lake. I will hear you and come for you. " Erik was truly concerned for the little maid. She wasn't ready yet for the Victorian age, let alone the 21st Century. She needed guidance and Erik was ready to help her. She had seen so much tragedy in her life...

"Perhaps you'd like to join me for breakfast or lunch, Adina. I would enjoy having a partner to dine with regularly...what do you say?"

FINIS