ENTRY #1: FINDING THE JOURNALS

[Erik Lavalais]

Erik Lavalais, Day 35, 20:34:15

Well, it seems that upon my arrival and during my stay in this godforsaken manor, I have found many empty leather-bound books on the bookshelf of my study. I have taken them to be sets of journals and sketchbooks, and now I thought I would see fit to fill them with the general goings on around here. My first journal shall be occupied with descriptions of all the people and places I see. When I return home to my flat in Persia, it is my hope to take these books with me, to recount what happens to me here, and to prove that my sanity is still quite intact.

I've been here a while now, just a little over a month. The Shah is most certainly going to have my head for this...Not too long ago, I was joined by my colleague Teressa. I like to think of her as more of a daughter, and I certainly treat her as such. If MY absence wasn't enough, Teressa's absence is most certainly going to drive the Shah into a frenzy. I suspect it would be mighty entertaining to watch if I were not one of the subjects of his anger.

I've never once kept a journal before, it makes me wonder why on earth there would be such a numerous amount of journals within this house. But, instead of questioning, perhaps I should get off my lazy ass for once and take action.

[Erik Lavalais]

Erik Lavalais, Day 36, 04:25:32

I couldn't sleep. The nightmares still haunt me, even here...So I crept out of my coffin to paint and calm myself down. I decided to sit out on my new pier and paint the view of the lake that leads to my house. I must say that it came out rather well, I'm quite fond of its likeness...

It seems to stretch on for a while. It's really quite beautiful when one thinks on it, and it almost makes one forget that they live under the earth like some sad animal. This manor is really a wake-up call for me. So many things, people, feelings, thoughts...I suppose I shouldn't get myself started. But lately, I can't stop thinking about it...Why would I be subjected to live underground while others have suites above? Is this some sort of cruel judgement on me made by God, to satiate his need to ridicule me and grind me down, perhaps so I can live greatly in heaven? Or perhaps I think too much...

No, it must be that I am undergoing some cruel and heartless form of discrimination! The ugly must live below while the beautiful stay above! We must be separated for fear of what we are, even if we are non-conforming to the stereotype! It's sad, almost pitiful!

...I can hardly stand to see what it does to Teressa. She spends a lot of time outside, trying to stay away from the tunnels and the darkness. I believe it reminds her of her past, just as it does to me. A constant reminder that we are different, something to be feared, not loved...who knows...

Perhaps love will never find us. That is a disparaging thought. The one thing that we both have longed for, and it shall never come to be. Every time I think on it, I only become a little more forlorn about the concept.

Perhaps I shall go back to bed...I do not need these thoughts tormenting my brain right now...

[Erik Lavalais]

Erik Lavalais, Day 40, 18:31:28

...An interesting development has arisen, unforetold by myself and perhaps by God himself. It seems that after two centuries of being dormant, my heart has awoken once more...I now acknowledge that I feel pangs of longing and the need to impress around one Christine Daae. What has become of me? Have I started to believe that perhaps she'd understand what it's like? Folly! Utter and complete folly!

I've included a picture I painted below, so that I might remember what she looks like. For how else am I to ponder and laugh at my complete idiocy? How else am I to be amused at my failed attempt at hoping?

I must remember! I must! For then, and only then, will I be able to look upon myself with a little bit of understanding for my stupidity as of late. Perhaps, when I return, I shall lay back upon my divan and flip through my pictures, looking back on this one time where I write that I think I may perhaps be in love again...

[Erik Lavalais]

Erik Lavalais, Day 48, 22:58:19

Today has been a trying day. Not only was I exhausted because of my work in restoring the greenhouse, but I came home to find THIS

SMOKING MY HASHISH. Yes, that's right. A woman who I'd only met once before, got past my labyrinth and traps, rode across my lake, broke into my home, and stole my bloody drugs! What insanity has this unfortunate world come to?! Some people...

Beyond that, she had the audacity to anger me to the point where I willingly ripped off my mask to show her my face! That was embarrassing in itself, and I said a few things that I truly regret...but she earned it! She deserved it! She angered me, therefore, she has to face the consequences!

I've given her space in the room with my mother's furniture next door. Perhaps she'll learn her lesson by tomorrow morning when I let her go.