I Wondered When You Would Say {GERARD CARRIERE}

[Erik Carriere]

{For when Gerard Carriere is accepted}

Finally, he was out. The air was crisp and cool and dark. The moon above shown down above Erik with all the stars dancing about the sky. He had been inside for quite a long while and had finally gotten out. Christine was fast asleep, which gave Erik some time to explore. He wasn't quite sure how long he had been wandering about till he finally found doors to the outside world. He also hadn't run into anyone else, most were probably be asleep by now. He always stayed up for a little while to watch over Christine as she slept before going to bed himself. But tonight, he for some odd reason, felt restless. He could not fall asleep.

When Erik had found his way to the outside, it was beautiful, though he always thought the outside world to be beautiful, as long as no one saw him. He wandered outside for a while, eventually finding a small trail through the forest and began to walk it. Lucky for him, he wore his hat, cape, white glove, and a sleek black walking cane which he always wore when going out so fortunately, he was prepared. Actually, he looked relatively the same as he had on the night he had gone to the Bistro to hear Christine sing. But what was different was that on that night, there was a cool breeze while here, there was a nice, soft, warm breeze, not windy enough to threaten to blow his hat off his head. The wild plants and flowers were just in bloom, meaning it was probably some time in spring.

As he walked, he began to ponder. What about? Well... basically everything. He thought about when he was small, when his mother was alive and would sing to him so gently, so tenderly. He dearly missed her. There was then just events in his life, before Christine. Things like when he first learned about the Bistro and learning that everyone loved to sing there. So he had begged Gerard to take him to get to see what it was like. Though really, he had only asked because he had a flicker of hope that he would hear his mother's voice again, some how, singing to him. And although none of them who sang sounded like his mother, he still fairly enjoyed watching. Though of course, he had to stay hidden so no one would see him. Erik wasn't quite sure how old he had been at that point. Seven... maybe ten even. He remembered that he had to ware a hood and had to enter and exit from the back of the building. Gerard had even payed the driver of the carriage that drove them a large extra to make sure he hadn't 'seen anyone'.

He remembered when Christine came here.... when he heard her singing. By that time, he had given up on the hope of ever hearing his mother's voice again. And yet it was there, and it surprised him. Well, of course it wasn't exact and it wasn't trained. Which was why the next time he caught her alone, he asked her if she would consider taking singing lessons from him. Fortunately later, she had accepted and almost immediately she began her lessons. It was nearly too good to be true to be hearing a voice that so closely resembled the one to his mother's voice. But it wasn't just the fact that they had similar voices really, it was also because those two voices, were the voices of angels, they were examples of what beautiful sounds God can make, and to place that gift upon the two woman. He was lucky enough to hear both of them, to know both of them. One his mother, the other being his love, his Christine. That Philippe almost was becoming a problem, luckily he was not here to ruin anything. No, Christine would love him forever as he loved her and not a single thing, not even if the Comte de Chagny did show up, would get in the way of their love.

Erik also thought about... all the thing Gerard had done for him. When Erik was a child, Gerard did his best to act upon his wishes while also keeping him hidden. He was thankful for that for really, Gerard never had to do anything for him. He didn't have to take Erik to the Bistro when he had asked to, he didn't have too. But he did, which really did mean quite a bit to him. He knew he never quite showed Gerard the gratitude that he deserved, never thanked him for things he did. He was hoping that one of these days he would be able to, to truly give a wholeheartedly thank you to him, for everything Gerard had done for Erik. And now he was in this strange place where people randomly show up at random times, just as Christine had done so. He wondered if Gerard would show up at one point... things had changed even more drastically then before. Christine had confessed she loved him and still even loved him after she had seen his face. Then there was also this strange place and getting to meet other people who had very similar lives as himself such as the other Christine Daaes, other masked men named Erik, and more de Chagnys. Though, all the de Chagnys he knew about were named Raoul and not Philippe, thank God. He wondered if Gerard would one day show up randomly just as others had. Though, the chances of that were slim.

Erik paused his little walk and walked over to a tree close by and leaned against it slightly, thinking. He thought about that... the moving screen he had seen with Christine. The beginning seemed to be so very... almost slightly frightening... accurate. Christine had confirmed that all the parts that had her in it had really happened. And Erik... well... he knew that it was accurate from his point.... though he wouldn't admit that since it showed when he had killed Buquet.... for coming too close to his lair. Though towards the middle and the end... things... well, changed. Erik had seen the part where he had fallen asleep and woke up in the manor. Except what was different was as they watched, he didn't fall asleep. The moving screen continued to play them being at the Opera house. After that moment... things became very weird. He didn't know what would happen, and neither did Christine. What was even more strange was that he knew that all that had happened.... the things he did in it and such.... he knew that he would have really done if that was the way things had played out. Then there was the end... where... he died in Gerard's arms. He shook a bit from remembering that. It would haunt any man he would imagine, to see himself in a different point of view, and see himself die. Also, it seemed Erik had been using the word 'strange' quite often. It amused him, only slightly, because he was using it quite frequently to describe things of this place, while usually it would have been used to describe him. Again, things had changed quite a bit.

[Gerard Carriere]

Gerard closed his eyes, wanting it all to be a dream. He closed them tightly, and then he opened them. He blinked. What the…? He wondered glancing around. Erik was no longer in his arms, he was surrounded by trees, a thick forest. He spun around, what had happened? Where was Erik? His son had been in his arms just a few moments ago…dead. The thought of it sent a shiver up his spine. This wasn’t normal. He didn’t know what to think. With a shake of his head he continued to look around, oh wherever on this planet was he? One minute he’d been on the roof of the Opera Populaire with Erik, Christine, the cops and Philippe now he was in a forest completely alone. He thought he heard someone walking through the forest, but when he whipped around, there was no one there. He stood there in utter confusion and scratched his head questioningly.

He had been wishing it had all been a dream, hadn’t he? Was that what had happened, was it a dream? He shook his head, no it couldn’t have been. He shook his head once more to clear it. Questions popped into his head one after another. He thought things over and relived those moments he last remembered.

They were standing on the roof, Christine, Philippe, Erik and some of the police. Gerard had taken his gun from his pocket and Erik had glanced at him, shrugged. He’d seen the gun and nodded, Gerard had looked away, while pointing the gun at his son, and pressed the trigger. He’d seen Erik stand for a moment, as though suspended in time, and then fall from the edge of the roof. He landed in front of Gerard and the cops rushed forward, but Gerard had as well. “Get back!” He’d said and they stopped as Gerard pulled Erik into his arms. Christine had run in next, Philippe standing behind her, and Erik had whispered her name, just a breath of air. She took his mask off and kissed his forehead, crying. It took all that Gerard had not to start crying as well as his son died in his arms. And now at the thought of it, his eyes welled with tears and he blinked them away. Then he’d closed his eyes and ended up here. Another sigh escaped from the man as he glanced about him.

The forest was lush and green. The moon shone overheard a perfect beacon in the sky. He looked up at it and thought about his son. He’d always done what Erik asked, every decision in the Populaire was Erik’s. Every little problem was fixed by Erik. The Populaire had been more Erik’s then anyone else’s. Every choice that had been made had been his and now he was gone. Or if he wasn’t, well Gerard didn’t know where he would have gone if he wasn’t dead. But then Gerard had seen him die, as much as it hurt him to admit. His son was dead and he didn’t think there was a way to bring him back.

Gerard ran a hand through his grey and white hair with a sigh. He picked his way through the brush and wondered about what was going on. In a way he didn’t want to know. Part of him just wanted to accept that he was here and there wasn’t a thing he could do to change that. He sighed, god he was doing that a lot. He let his gaze sweep the forest once more. There were small signs meaning that someone had been here before -cracked sticks, broken branches, stones out of place, just the smallest details that were usually missed. Gerard figured that he only noticed them because he was paying attention since he had nothing better to pay attention to.

He wandered further into the forest, his hazel eyes scanning the landscape. He saw someone up ahead leaning against a tree and he walked forward. Then he stopped. He froze. His eyes widened. And he thought, No… he shook his head, thinking he was hallucinating, it can’t be! But yet there he was standing perfectly still staring off into the forest, apparently at nothing. Gerard couldn’t believe it. Incredulousness clouded his eyes and he remembered one of the many things Erik had been called. Opera Ghost. Now Gerard didn’t exactly believe in ghosts, but just let those at the Populaire believe in Erik’s fable to keep him safe. But when he spotted that figure he thought, I must be delusion! I must be hallucinating! It cannot be, I saw him die…there’s no such thing as ghosts..

All the same Gerard started to walk forward, than stopped again. He still couldn’t believe it. Was someone playing a cruel trick on him? Or was this real? He shook his head. No. I am just hallucinating, he told himself, but yet there he stood as clear as the day and the moon itself. Gerard shook his head in wonder. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He shut his mouth and shook his head again, blinking. He’d been afraid to blink, afraid that the figure would vanish, but he blinked and the figure was still right there as it had been when Gerard shut his eyes for a brief moment. He opened his mouth and this time he let out a soft, “Erik….?” It was just a whisper on the air, perhaps too soft for the other person to hear.

The warm wind brushed against his skin and he said the name again, his voice a little stronger, but strangled with incredulous disbelief. He swallowed a bit. He still didn’t believe it. Again he thought, Perhaps this is just a joke…if it is, he thought, a little crossly, then it is by all means, not funny. He didn’t speak those thoughts out loud be was suddenly suspicious of the figure in the white mask that covered his whole face except for his mouth and chin. He said the name again, stronger and less doubtful, “….Erik…..? You-you-you’re a-a-a-alive!?”

And he knew. Gerard just knew that this was really Erik, that he was alive. He found himself asking, his voice stuttering, “B…but ho…how?” He stared, his hazel eyes peering at his son, whom he believed was dead. He stuttered, “I-I….th-the g-gun…E-Erik, how a-are y-you h-ere?...You-you’re de-dead….?” Gerard had never felt so confused in his life, and considering how long he’d been alive that was pretty confused. He didn’t know what to say, he could only stare, not the most polite of things to do, but what else was he supposed to do as a rush of questions entered his head, but he spoke only the ones he already had, unsure of what to expect and what to say.

[Erik Carriere]

Erik was deep in thought, he hadn't heard a person come from behind. Though he had heard his name being called softly. Nearly not audible but he did hear it. In fact... it sounded much like Gerard. However Gerard was not here so it couldn't be. Maybe because he had been thinking about him so much at the moment he was actually hearing his voice. That had never really happened before. Then came the voice but louder. And this time he could tell that it seemed to have been coming from behind him. And so he turned around to look if the voice was really coming from somewhere... and indeed it was.

He saw Gerard standing there, staring at him. Erik was slightly relived that Gerard had arrived here but also greatly confused, wondering where he had come from? He listened to him stutter, something about a gun and him being.... dead? This confused him greatly because he had never recently been even close to dieing but then he remembered back to that moving screen... at the end he had been shot... he shook his head mentally. No, that was not possible as Erik had never personally experienced that and if he hadn't personally experienced it well... then it more then likely had to be impossibly. Then again, things here that are meant to be impossible were becoming quite convincingly, possible. He stood up strait away from the tree and spoke to the man.

"Gerard... I can assure you that I am not dead. I am not quite sure by what you mean about a gun but I have been here for about a month... possibly two. Not quite sure since I lost track since time here is slightly strange..." He paused for a moment, knowing that soon he would probably have to go into more detail about the strangeness of this place including time and such.... though about the residents such as the other masked men and women named Christine Daae, he'll let him find that out himself. Plus, he wouldn't be able to quite explain it anyways since he lacks any decent information on it, or any realistic facts other than possibly they all has also previously lived in Paris before quite randomly appearing in this place. "...What did happen before you came here Gerard? And when did you get here?" He asked curiously, after all. It wasn't every day that Gerard suddenly appeared to him, claiming to him that he was dead.

[Gerard Carriere]

Gerard stared at him, eyes wide. How could this be!? Only moments ago Gerard had seen his son die in his arms and now here he was, alive and well. He blinked and blinked again. He could barely concentrate on the words Erik was saying but in the end her heard Erik say that he wasn't dead and he didn't understand why Gerard would think that. Then he asked what happened before Gerard had arrived here in this place.

"Before I came here?" Gerard repeated the question, "Before I came here...." he trailed off and took a deep breath, "Before I came here you came into Faust and the cops were there. You took Christine up to the roof and Phillipe followed. On the roof you tried to kill Phillipe but Christine stopped you. A mob of cops surrounded you and I came in and you looked at me with a shrug..." he trailed off and paused, he looked away as he continued, "I took out my gun and you nodded. I pointed it at you....and.....pulled the trigger. You fell from the roof and the cops went forward, but I forced them back. Christine came running in and had tears in her eyes. She took off your mask and kissed your cheek.....You died in my arms...."

Gerard's words had become strangled and he could barely get them out. Pain etched itself into his eyes and he wouldn't look at Erik. He felt horrible even though he knew that was what Erik had wanted. He sighed and glanced up a Erik.

[Erik Carriere]

Erik listened patiently to Gerard as he slowly began to speak. As Gerard spoke, he was able to see it play out in his mind, thanks to the moving screen. It was exactly as it had played out. The police surrounding him on the roof, him lifting his hands up to kind of remind Gerard that he did not want to be put on display, the moving screen showing Gerard looking away as he pointed the gun at Erik... this was getting just a bit to much. Erik once more leaned against the tree, thinking deeply about all that Gerard had just said.

That moving screen... could it really have been what happened? How could it have been when he had not experienced it? Erik had only seen it as third person with Christine, from the manor. How was it possible that Gerard had experienced what he had seen in the moving screen when Erik had been in the manor for the past month or so? Now things lately hadn't been making any sense... but this moment.... well it quite out did most of any of the other strange, nonsense things. And what about before then? He remembered in the moving screen that before that scene, Gerard finally confessing to Erik that he was his father. Had he experienced that as well? Truth be told, if he had, he felt like he was kind of cheated out of the experience.

For a moment, Erik was unsure what to say. "Gerard... I can honestly say that... I did not experience any of that... I am not sure how any of this is possible." He paused again, thinking once more about the madness of the manor and how none of it should really be possible. "But I believe you that it did happen.... just not to me." Or it hadn't yet. It would be very hard to explain everything, how well could anyone explain madness without being quite mad themselves? And making it make sense? Erik wasn't sure, he just knew that he hadn't gone through that... and yet in a way he had just because he had been able to see it... it would haunt him for quite a while now, the image of him dieing in Gerard's arms at the end of the moving screen. It was just quite a bit to take in and try to piece together correctly in his head, how much more crazy could this possibly get?

[Gerard Carriere]

Gerard couldn't keep the confusion from glinting boldly in his hazel eyes. He swallowed slightly, even though Erik -his son- was standing right there in front of him it still pained him to think of that horrible memory plaguing his mind. He looked Erik over, he was the same Erik. He was still Gerard's son. Gerard decided to push away that experience as though it never happened and accept that wherever he was, was a good place to be considering his son was, as it seemed, back from the dead.

"Well it doesn't matter about that right now," Gerard managed to say, confusion still rippling through his veins. "I'm just glad that you're okay..." The words felt strange on his tongue and Gerard sighed slightly.

Did Erik know who he was? The question slammed itself into Gerard's brain and he shuddered almost. He avoided Erik's gaze as he pondered on the question. Moments earlier Erik had called him by his first name...Gerard didn't think he knew.

[Erik Carriere]

Erik was silent as he thought. He couldn't exactly imagine how it must have felt for Gerard... to have been there in person to see Erik die, where he wasn't even really there for his own death, only saw it from third person. And then after such a moment, to suddenly in the forest out side of the manor and run into Erik once more, but this time with him being alive and well.

Erik looked at the ground for a moment, at where he stood. Does this mean that all that had happened in the movie... all of it could be true? He felt that now probably wasn't exactly the best time to ask and figure all that at the moment, there would be plenty of time for that later. He glanced up at Gerard for a moment then looked away to the side a bit and chuckled slightly. "Lot has changed now..." He paused for a moment. Actually, a lot really had changed.... especially since his absents from the opera house. Especially with Christine.

Erik stood up away from the tree and walked closer to Gerard, standing only a few feet away from him. "Shall we go to the manor? It is where I had first arrived, away from the opera house. I could show you to the kitchen perhaps, it has a relaxing dinning room. Or perhaps you require rest?" Erik just felt as though he needed to be hospitable toward Gerard. After all he had gone through, it just sounded like the best thing to do. Though Erik never really had ever acted hospitable except for Christine. And suppose it was also a chance to be able to ask a few more questions to Gerard on their walk to the manor while also be able to start to let Gerard feel comfortable at the manor. Though that might still be difficult since Erik was still trying to really get comfortable in his still new environment.

[Gerard Carriere]

Gerard smiled slightly at his son. He wondered, once more, if Erik knew. He wanted to tell him, but he really didn't know how. He also wanted to tell Erik about his mother, Belladova...even though Gerard knew that he had faint memories of her. Gerard sighed slightly and nodded to Erik's words of 'lot has changed now'. He nodded slightly, "I can imagine it has..."

Gerard smiled, "Lead the way, and I'll merely follow you as it seems you know this place much better then I do at the moment." He wondered what Erik had been through during the past few months that Gerard's son had said he'd been here. He wondered what was going on with Christine...oh yes and Philippe, as he assumed they were there as well.

And then he remember Carlotta and he cringed slightly, thinking Good God! She had better not be here! He sighed slightly, she probably was here, in fact Gerard was counting on it, no matter how much he didn't want her there.

[Erik Carriere]

Erik nodded and began to lead the way. Truth be told, he still didn't know all that much about the manor or where he was. After all, he had just discovered the forest and how to get outside of the manor. Which was a good thing he did or else who knows if Gerard would have found his way to the manor, though if he had continued down the trail, there was a good possibility that he would have.

"Where would you like to go? Possibly to the kitchen area or maybe to the dorms... It seems that whoever had lived at the manor, they went through quite an effort for all the peoples here's arrival. I wouldn't doubt that there is a room for you..." He spoke calmly. No... he hadn't been by the dorms often but he had gone by there once and had noticed that there were name plates on all the doors and each had a name on it, just as all the Eriks had their domains here and their names were next to the lit up buttons in the elevator.

Perhaps another day he would show Gerard that his domain here was the exact replica of the one that he lived in under his opera house. And maybe by that day, Gerard would have met other residents of the manor and tell Erik about his findings, about the people of which he already knew about. And then he would be able to calmly tell him that luckily, Philippe and Carlotta and her husband were not here. It was just the three of them... from their.... world. It was odd to think of it being 'their world' but that's all he could really put it as except for maybe their version since their were others in the manor that were their own versions as well.... well everyone except perhaps Gerard. From what he could tell, most of the Eriks had lived very alone while Erik had at least Gerard.

[Gerard Carriere]

Gerard shrugged his shoulders somewhat nonchalantly. He didn't really know where he would have liked to go so he just smiled a wry smile and told his son, "Why don't you just lead the way to which ever room you like best? And I shall simply follow you." He didn't really mind where they went, he merely wanted to spend time with the son he had thought was dead mere moments before hand.

Mostly Gerard wanted to make sure that Phillipe wasn't in this place. He'd made things harder for Christine and Erik, even though Gerard himself had pushed the trigger of the gun which killed Erik. Both Phillipe and Erik were in love with Christine and in his story things had gone very wrong, very wrong indeed. But here, he didn't know how Erik and Christine's relationship was going. He hoped it was alright for his son most definitely deserved Christine in some place even if it was in this place.

Gerard took a deep breath, "Erik," he sighed, "there is something that I must tell you that i have kept to myself for quite sometime. I guess I should have told you a while ago...but I don't think I ever knew how." Part of him didn't want to say, but the other part of him wanted to blurt it out. He was unable to do either at the moment. So he just merely sighed and kept his hazel-eyed gaze on the ground.

[Erik Carriere]

Erik nodded when Gerard told him to lead the way to where ever he would like and he would fallow. Because he wanted to spend a little more time with his f...friend, he decided that they could go to the kitchen. He had to find out if all that had happened in the moving screen was true... if all if it had really happened from what Gerard knew. Except, not much would change, except for a few things, if everything was true.

Erik stopped and looked at Gerard as he said there was something that he needed to tell him.... it was obviously greatly important. He gave Gerard his full attention. "Yes?" He asked kind of quietly, only to sort of urge him on to tell him as he could tell that Gerard was conflicted on whether to really tell him or not. But Erik wanted to hear it, what ever it may be. Though... he had an ever so slight idea of what it might be.

[Gerard Carriere]

Gerard sighed and didn't know what to say. He didn't want to say it, but then he did. He said, "Erik...I," he sighed slightly and just blurted it out, "I'm you - your father." He looked up slightly and then at the ground. He didn't say another word, he didn't know what else to say.

He sighed and wanted to say something more, but had not a word. He swallowed slightly and briefly closed his eyes. Then said, finally finding the words to say, "I'm sorry for not saying sooner..." His words were soft and he gave another heavy sigh.

[[ ugh i'm sorry - it's short! ]]

[Erik Carriere]

((It's fine, I love it anyways! xD))

Erik listened to him silently as he... he admitted that he was his father. He stared at him for a moment and nodded slightly. I wondered when you would say... He thought in his mind. Gerard then apologized for not telling him sooner.

Erik shook his head slightly. "I am just glad you told me at all...." He spoke a bit quietly. Father...I've known all along.... He repeated a few times in his mind. He stood by his father's side. He had known.... he was reminded that Gerard was his father every time he looked in the mirror. "I've known.... but I think you know that already." He chuckled slightly.

[Gerard Carriere]

Gerard smiled slightly, just a curl of the right side of his mouth. "I had my suspicious," he replied with a slight chuckle. He sighed and looked at his son. He looked him over and gave a small crooked smile, "I'm proud of you, Erik, truly I am."

The older man knew Erik would probably question that, but he didn't know what else to say to convince the masked man, that Gerard still saw as a boy, his boy.

[Erik Carriere]

((DAWWWWWWW))

Erik smiled and chuckled a bit when he had spoken that he had his suspicions. Perhaps things could be different from now on. He had his Christine and his father... no Carlotta or Philippe to swing by and ruin things. He wasn't extremely to sure how things could be to greatly different, but he at least knew that things were going to be somehow, better than before.

Erik then stared at Gerard for a moment when he had said that Gerard was proud of him. His words caught him off guard slightly. He looked down slightly, his father was proud of him. Erik closed his eyes for a moment. His father... was proud of him. He smiled slightly. He didn't exactly see how his father was proud of him but somehow... it made him feel really good to have heard those words from Gerard. "Thank you... Father...." He said quietly. He looked at him.