Emma Ravenhearst
Love can hold one captive in more ways than one...
The bride of Ravenhearst
Posts: 269
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Post by Emma Ravenhearst on Jun 18, 2012 13:52:53 GMT -5
Emma cursed herself inwardly as, yet again, her cheeks grew pink at his words. She was so embarrassed, she could hardly bring herself to look up at him, but when she did, all embarrassment at his flatter seemed to melt away...For, judging by the look in his eyes, it wasn't flattery at all. He genuinely meant it...He really did think her beautiful. Of course, she had always known that she was pretty, but she had never given it much thought. Looks were second to knowledge, in her mind, and so she didn't spend the time making herself beautiful that other women might have. But Charles thought she was beautiful...The most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
She looked up at him with slight awe, and smiled a little when he squeezed her hand, looking forward into the kitchen. One of the younger maids was standing there, and Emma gave her a smile and a little wave when she acknowledged her. The girl's attention, however, seemed entirely fixed upon Charles. Emma raised her eyebrows at this and watched the girl with a little amusement, looking back at Charles, who was either entirely unaware of her affection filled gaze, or was ignoring it.
She smiled a little teasingly at Charles as they left the kitchen and went outside, and she sat on a bench across from him, giving him a teasing smile, "It is indeed...Though I think I know someone who finds you lovelier than any day..." She giggled a little.
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Post by bedeviledmanor on Jun 18, 2012 14:04:42 GMT -5
Charles crossed his legs and cocked his head in confusion. Surely she didn't mean herself, else she would be blushing madly. "What do you mean?"
Hilde had been his mother's maid for years before she died, and he hadn't had the heart to fire her after all those years of patient, loyal work. The older maid and he manservant, too, still resided here despite the fact that Charles was alone and single.
He occasionally noticed Hilde's gaze but did not dare to get her hopes up, and so ignored it as best he could. It had never occurred to him that she found him lovely, and attributed it to the fact that they had known each other for so long but never really talked.
Hilde thought herself pretty much already his wife--she cleaned his clothing, made him food, defeathered and cleaned the birds he hunted, tended to his horses, lived in his house, and everything else. She had grown accustomed to taking care of him, and he was so handsome, but besides this, she felt nothing serious for him.
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Emma Ravenhearst
Love can hold one captive in more ways than one...
The bride of Ravenhearst
Posts: 269
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Post by Emma Ravenhearst on Jun 18, 2012 14:16:12 GMT -5
Emma giggled a little behind her hand at this and jerked her head back in the direction of the kitchen, indicating the little maid who had been so smitten with Charles, at least to her eyes. She wasn't entirely sure how she felt about this. Of course, the maid was entitled to her fondness of Charles. He was a handsome man...Intelligent, talented, and very sweet to everyone. Why, she had never seen him say a bad word against anyone at all! But Charles was her companion...She wasn't exactly jealous, persay. She had no real claim over Charles. But it was still strange to see someone else taking interest in him.
Why did Charles have female servants to begin with, she wondered. It was a little improper, considering that he was a bachelor. She shook this off, thinking that it wasn't wise to question and smiled a little at him, "Perhaps I was wrong. But the way she looked at you..."
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Post by bedeviledmanor on Jun 18, 2012 14:27:14 GMT -5
Charles widened his eyes. "Oh, Hilde?" He laughed, that deep, slow laugh. "Oh, no. We were practically children together. She's like my sister." Suddenly, Charles's face darkened, much like his face would darken when he was dead when upset.
She was nothing like his real sister. Everyone had agreed that Bridgette was the finest girl they had ever seen--a long neck; straight, fair hair; soft brown eyes and an equally soft disposition. She had once been Charles's best friend and sometimes, in the darkest of his days, lying in bed, he would try to speak to her. He would do anything just to see his dear sister again.
Charles became very quiet and his eyes traveled up the house, to one of the side windows. It was the window to the room that had been hers and was now one of the servants' rooms. She had died there.
His lovely hazel eyes seemed to darken with his sadness, becoming an almost orange color.
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Emma Ravenhearst
Love can hold one captive in more ways than one...
The bride of Ravenhearst
Posts: 269
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Post by Emma Ravenhearst on Jun 18, 2012 14:37:18 GMT -5
Emma's smile slowly faded from her face as she watched Charles sober completely, and her brow furrowed. Had she said something wrong...? He was staring up at the house and looked as though he was years away from her, staring up at a particular window.
She knew nothing of his sister, and probably wouldn't have fully understood his sadness even if he had explained it to her. She had never had any siblings, and Charles himself was the only person outside of her parents that she had really been close to. As for losses...Jack was the only person she had really lost in her life. Not that she had ever really had him in the first place...She pressed the thought of him away from her mind. She didn't want to think of him now.
She sat there for a moment, hands folded in her lap, watching Charles with concern, not sure whether or not she should say anything. He looked so sad and she felt almost as though she were intruding upon an intimate moment when she reached out her hand, brushing her fingers very lightly against his, looking at him in concern, "Are you alright...?"
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Post by bedeviledmanor on Jun 18, 2012 14:48:39 GMT -5
Charles thought of that day: he had rushed to welcome her back from America, but she had been pale and ill when she stepped off of the boat and hadn't gotten any better as they drove back home. He sat in the back with he and rubbed her hand, feeling her forehead in concern.
When they had reached home, he had personally bundled her in bed and refused to move from her side until the day she died. She trembled and slowly rotted away before his very eyes. The doctor told them it was typhoid and that he had caught it too late to do anything that would help much. Often, Charles had wished it was him who had caught it.
He looked back at Emma when she touched his hand and looked at her with eyes full of the heaviest sadness he'd ever shown in front of her, or... Anyone, really. "I'm just... remembering a friend of mine," he said, barely managing more than a whisper.
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Emma Ravenhearst
Love can hold one captive in more ways than one...
The bride of Ravenhearst
Posts: 269
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Post by Emma Ravenhearst on Jun 18, 2012 14:58:39 GMT -5
Emma could feel her heart aching for Charles as he looked up at her, staring at him with eyes filled with pity, though she knew not his plight. She could tell that something unspeakably sad had happened to this friend of his. Judging by his manner, it almost seemed as though the friend may have died.
She had no experience with death. No one close to her had ever died. But she could somewhat relate to the expression in his eyes. She could remember feeling that sort of pain, after seeing Jack with that other woman...She had been walking to his house, happy as could be, books filling her arms, books that she had bought for him to read, for she knew his knowledge was woefully limited to the practical, to the mechanical. It excited her to think of teaching someone something- a foreshadowing of her further career, she had often thought.
She had walked up the steps to his house, and was preparing to knock on the door when she happened to glance into the window beside the door. Her heart had dropped into her stomach at the sight. Jack, sitting next to a beautiful, nay, gorgeous woman, holding her hand, and looking at her with eyes that spoke love beyond that which he had ever shown her. He had moved forward, his lips had brushed hers...
And Emma could think of it no more. She didn't want to remember it. She pressed her lips together, and moved to sit on the edge of her bench, slipping her hands into his to hold them, looking up at him, "...I'm sorry..."
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Post by bedeviledmanor on Jun 18, 2012 15:10:07 GMT -5
Charles looked at his knees and took her hands, her jaw tightening. He had never talked to anyone about it, much less Emma--she didn't even know how many siblings he had had, nor the fact that he was the only one left. But finally, it seemed, the flood gates had opened and he could contain himself no longer.
His shoulders raised in helplessness, and his brow furrowed as if he were going to cry. "I... I did all I could for her," he stuttered, "but I could have done something... anything more." It was strange to see Charles in this state, as he was always chipper or adorable.
He had no idea about Jack, and perhaps that was a good thing. No, it was. Charles was sensitive and didn't believe in love ever dying--perhaps if he had known about Jack, he never would have pursued Emma. And surely now that they are dead, he would throw a fit.
"It should have been me," he muttered.
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Emma Ravenhearst
Love can hold one captive in more ways than one...
The bride of Ravenhearst
Posts: 269
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Post by Emma Ravenhearst on Jun 18, 2012 16:51:28 GMT -5
A woman...It was a woman that he was lamenting so horribly over. Emma knew not why, but the idea of him having such fondness for any other woman that he would go into this state over her made her feel quite...unhappy? That wasn't quite the emotion that she felt, but she had no name for what she was feeling now.
It almost frightened her to see how upset he was getting over this unknown woman. She stared at him, pressing her lips together and squeezing his hands, his vulnerability strange to her who knew him to be so sweet and strong in his gentleness. She knew not what to do to make him feel better, knew not what might remedy his sadness.
"I...I am sure you did all that you could...Don't say that, please...It would have made me very sad to have never met you..." She gave a little smile, trying to cheer him up.
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Post by bedeviledmanor on Jun 18, 2012 17:05:27 GMT -5
Charles gave a shuddering sigh and smiled weakly, if only for her. "I have never told anyone how I felt about her," he confessed. "I think... a little piece of me died with Bridgette."
He sighed. He may have been a different man if she had lived--certainly, the hidden madness he harbored would not have been as severe. He may have been less afraid of people leaving him, even someone as simple as a good maid. "We were together since birth- I... we slept in The same bed for the first two years of our life, for God's sakes," he sighed.
Charles looked back up at her and saw the concern but slight confusion in her eyes, and realized that she had no idea who he was talking about. "I apologize. My sister, Bridgette..."
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Emma Ravenhearst
Love can hold one captive in more ways than one...
The bride of Ravenhearst
Posts: 269
|
Post by Emma Ravenhearst on Jun 18, 2012 21:26:38 GMT -5
She nodded a little when he said he had never told anyone else about this girl. This seemed to fit. That was why he was getting so emotional...It was something he had repressed, held back, something that he didn't often reveal to anyone. The emotions had been bottled up...
"Perhaps if you spoke about it more, you wouldn't feel so melancholic about it..."
She could feel the hypocrisy of those words stabbing at her as she said them. She had never told anyone about Jack, never even wrote about it in her diary. She was afraid of what might come out if she did. She simply kept the feelings stuffed away, sometimes letting them out when she was quite sure she was alone. Crying was the only way she ever addressed the emotions and when she was done crying, she was done. She thought about it no longer, continued with her life. It was simply how she dealt with her emotions. Granted, she had never been very good at that. But she managed well enough.
A little light of understanding came into her eyes when he explained that it was his sister he was so upset about. That made far more sense than the romance she was trying to piece together in her mind, and accounted for the large amount of emotion he obviously felt. Her brow furrowed further and she moved to sit on the bench beside him, though not too close, her hands in his as she looked up into his eyes, "I'm so sorry, Charles..."
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Post by bedeviledmanor on Jun 18, 2012 21:33:55 GMT -5
Charles looked over her, comforted a bit now that she was near him. He no longer looked as if he would cry, anyway. "We were twins," he said softly, holding her hands tighter. "You can imagine how close we were..."
As his mind became less clouded by emotions, he realized something she had said earlier, and raised his head, looking at her with what was unmistakably love in his eyes. Complete and utter devotion. "Would you really be sad if you had never met me? I'm sure I must cause you a good deal of ...misfortune, of some sort."
It was starting to come out, just how suicidal he was. It wasn't scary, but pitifully sad. This man seemed so strong and loving, but it was beginning to become clear just how lonely he was.
"I had four other siblings," he said quietly, slowly. "And... I am the only one left."
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Emma Ravenhearst
Love can hold one captive in more ways than one...
The bride of Ravenhearst
Posts: 269
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Post by Emma Ravenhearst on Jun 18, 2012 22:16:36 GMT -5
A twin sister...It made even more sense. She couldn't even imagine the pain that it must give someone, to have someone so close ripped away like that. Someone who was practically a part of you...She couldn't even begin to fathom the pain that must be.
She looked a little taken aback when he flashed those eyes filled with affection up at her. She had never seen him with so much emotion in his eyes before. Of course, he was always affectionate to her and she was aware that he was very fond of her, as she was of him. But this...The emotion in his eyes was akin to...Love. But love was not something she liked, not something that she dealt with. She really never used the word to describe her feelings for anyone, save for her family. And so it was a little frightening to see the intensity of the feelings in his eyes.
Frightening, too, was the depression he was starting to exhibit. She had never thought he was hiding away feelings like this- he always seemed so happy and carefree, as though he had nothing to worry about, nothing deep inside. 4 siblings...That meant that they had all died in one way or another. She could feel her heart aching for him as it did for no other, "Oh, Charles..." She leaned forward and wrapped her arms around him, wanting to make him feel better about his plight.
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Post by bedeviledmanor on Jun 18, 2012 22:34:35 GMT -5
Finally, as if he had been carrying an extremely heavy weight, he practically fell into her arms, burying his face in her neck with trembling shoulders. Their contact was extremely intimate and it sent a chill through him, but he found himself trying not to weep.
"I am... I just grow so lonely, not having any family," he murmured into her skin, closing his eyes and just letting himself be held by her. God, he loved her--he loved her so much and was certain they would spend the rest of their lives together, one way or another.
He wasn't sure what one way or another meant, but it seemed right. Charles pulled away reluctantly, though their faces were very close. He felt the urge to lean forward and kiss her, but just stayed, looking down at her with those sad eyes.
"I'm sorry..." he whispered. His breath smelled like... honey, and some sort of bread. His body smelled like sweat, but clean sweat earned from hard work. It wasn't an unpleasant odor.
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Emma Ravenhearst
Love can hold one captive in more ways than one...
The bride of Ravenhearst
Posts: 269
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Post by Emma Ravenhearst on Jun 18, 2012 22:58:09 GMT -5
"Shh...Shh..."
That was all she could bring herself to say as she held him against her, her arms around his neck, holding him against her. She could feel her heart rate increasing just from having him this close to her. He had never been this close to her, and she quite liked it, having him next to her...He smelled good...That was something she had never really noticed before...She trailed her fingers over his back, letting them slip away when he moved to sit up again.
He was so close to her...Her face was only inches from his...Her eyes moved over his face, her lips parted slightly, looking almost as though they were inviting a kiss, though she consciously did nothing. She shook her head a little at his apology, "You needn't be sorry...It's natural..."
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